Is communication easy?

Many people might suggest that communication is easy, both as an area of study and as an everyday practice. However, think about it . . . if it is so easy, why are so many people seemingly so bad at it? And why do people who have known each other for a long time, such as married couples, often seem to have problems communicating?

Thinking this through...what do you see as the central obstacle(s) to good communincation?

I think that many people have trouble communicating because it is a skill that has to be learned and practiced in order to become strong. Some people, especially those who are quiet or shy, may have more of a difficult time feeling comfortable communicating with others. Also, some people do not like sharing their feelings and I think that sometimes it can come from their past or childhood, or because they think others will judge them. In my opinion, even those who have known each other for years, like married couples or best friends, for example may have a difficult time communicating for many different reasons. One reason may be because one person might have grown up in a household where there was a lack of strong communication. They may not have learned how to properly communicate or express their feelings in relationships or friendships, which can be difficult for them and their partner or friend to have good communication together. Another reason why people who have known each other for a long time might have a difficult time communicating is because they have known each other for so long and have become so comfortable with that person that they might not realize their communication skills are not as strong as they may have once been. They become used to certain routines with each other and may not realize that their communication skills are not the way they used to be. Overall, I think that some of the main obstacles to good communication is working through any challenges someone may face when communicating, such as feeling uncomfortable with sharing their feelings and forgetting to really listen to their partner or friend. I believe that when people work on these specific skills, it can really improve their communication, which will improve their relationships or friendships too.

Communication though we do it every day, is certainly not as easy as it seems. Communication is taught at an early age through use of words and other forms of non-verbal gestures, but it tends to be forgotten about later in schooling as communication becomes even more important to our lives and functioning. I believe there are many obstacles in communicating but there are some that are more common and difficult than others. One large difficulty that arises in communication is when an individual is not aware of non-verbal cues like facial expressions for example. When having a conversation facial cues or physical cues can give someone an idea of what they should or should not talk about; if someone does not understand these non-verbal cues it can cause for a lot of discomfort and an overall bad conversation. Misunderstandings in communication can cause many problems. Online communication due to the lack of voice tone, and non-verbal cues can cause misunderstandings and misreading of a message. In person misunderstandings are often created when people do not express their true thoughts and feelings. Often in close relationships, people will not share their true thoughts and feelings and expect someone else to grasp what they are feeling. The lack of verbal expression can lead to long term communication problems and bigger misjudgments will arise. Another great problem in communication is not understanding what and when something is appropriate to say. Schools are not required to teach this and if someone is not taught by their family of appropriate conversation techniques; they simply will not know. This can be inappropriate words or phrases used with the wrong person, or using words that are too complicated for someone like a child or younger person. Using words that are too difficult for a certain person, like a child for example, will not get the message that is trying to be told across. These are some of the obstacles that inhibit good communicating.

Despite it being something we do all day everyday, communication can be hard for some depending on personality, upbringing, or personal experiences. Communication is a skill that needs to be molded and worked at. Without practice, it'll be difficult for some to properly express themselves and/or open up to others and work through their problems. One obstacle to communication could be personality. If someone is more shy or reserved and keeps to themselves, it'll be harder for them to approach or talk to people because it's very uncomfortable. These people may also have a fear of awkwardness and feel they won't know what to say to a person and don't want to be in that situation. Many people retreat to their phones or their own little world to avoid communication because they want to avoid awkwardness. Fear of awkwardness is something many go through because no one wants to be in an awkward situation. Communication can also depend on upbringing, especially among parents in the home. People who have a good relationship with their parents likely have good communication with them. Good parents try to encourage good communication so their kids can feel comfortable talking to them about anything. Someone who has a bad relationship with their parent(s) or none at all, may have a harder time expressing themselves because they weren't encouraged and didn't have that foundation with their parents. A child who grows up without a parent probably doesn't have that figure in their life to communicate with. They need that figure to talk to about life and problems and without that person there, they can't exercise that communication. Some people may have just had bad experiences communicating or are afraid of possible consequences. For example, a student asks a teacher a question because they don't understand something. Students are always encouraged to ask questions and communicate with their teacher if they don't understand something. Instead of properly responding to the student's question and helping them, the teacher gets annoyed and makes the student feel dumb for asking. That makes the student afraid to properly communicate because they don't want to experience that again. Instead of asking questions, they just keep it to themselves.

I find communication to be rather easy. In my opinion it comes rather easy, possibly due to my outgoing personality and growing up playing sports I was always required to communicate. There are several ways to go in depth about how communication can be easy, but also several ways that It can be extremely difficult. For example, people who are socially anxious have an incredibly difficult time communicating with others so that poses an obstacle. Through todays constant uses of phones and computers, I think communication is not genuine or as easy as face to face. With this obstacle , communication is difficult to understand exactly what someone is saying especially their tone.

I have always found Communication to be one of the most interesting subjects. As my first real job, I worked for a company called Marrakech as a job coach. Within this position, I would assist clients on a job site learning job tasks, and afterwards I would write a short report on how they did. I did this position for about three months before my supervisors asked me to review the reports of other job coaches, and they offered me a part time position to do so. I accepted and was amazed, by the writing of other individuals. While by no means, am I strong writer in many aspects, many of the coaches who's reports i viewed, not only lacked detailed, but showed an inability to communicate what they witnessed on the job, to their readers. In turn, it made me theorize, that individuals in terms of communication, have difficulty processing not only their own thoughts, but how to communicate those thoughts to others. What they think they explained, showed, or wrote, was very rarely interpreted in the same way in which they originally thought. After a period of time, I began to review my supervisors emails before they were sent out. The entire purpose was to ensure that their emails appeared to be respectful. My supervisors wanted to ensure that what was going to be read, was correctly interpreted. Likewise in daily life, much of what we communicate to others may be interpreted very differently then our original intent. There is a small skit on youtube that demonstrates such an idea perfectly, with two men texting one another. Eventually, one replies "Alright, cool, whatever dude". His intent meaning that he did not care what they did, he simply wanted to hang out with his friend. Friendship was far more important to him then the activity that was being conducted. However, the friend interpreted it as his friend, not longer wanted to hang out, and simply did not care about their night out.

Communication is simple on the surface. But once driving deeper, it truly becomes interesting and truly complicated.

I think communication is a two way street. If someone isn't willing to look beneath the surface of what the other person is trying to convey or try to solicit clarity, there are going to be problems. This is just as true the other way around. If someone does not want to be perceived one way, they should put forward an effort to offer clarity.

I have known my wife for nine years but sometimes I still have no idea about why she is mad or what point she is trying to get across. Sometimes it's as simple as she is speaking "Texan" and my California brain has no idea why her culture is a certain way about something. It literally can be something as small as beans in chile (and if you ask me, I love beans in chile). But to her it's a foreign concept that I have decided to accept because it's easier that way. But this example isn't just me yielding to a recipe disagreement, it's accepting a culture and trying to see the idea from their perspective. A culture barrier is a massive block at times and it requires a conscious effort to get around that. I took it upon myself to ask why people from Texas don't put beans in chile and I explored her San Antonio history and culture for a while. I understood what she was saying and learned something in the process because I made the effort.

Body language also plays a large unspoken role in communication but I don't always want to take this at face value. Once again I will be using my wife as a subject. Someone crossing their arms can be looked at as stand-offish but my wife stands at 5 ft 3 and gets cold easily. She crosses her arms a lot but uses silly and sarcastic language in an informal environment to let others know she isn't being antisocial or rude. Sometimes others won't know that they are coming off this way and will not project the clear "hey, everything is okay" message and body language can be misunderstood. I understand some people are not very social and may not have the confidence to project this way but it is helpful.